resistance is useless
“Resistance is useless!” shouted a guard as he was about to throw off two humans out of the Vogon spaceship and into deep space. This happened in an epic book Hitchhikers Guide Through the Galaxy.
Even though the Vogons are described as one of the most dull and unpleasant races in the Galaxy, having as much sex appeal as a road accident, I think that the guard was actually enlightened. “Resistance is useless”. Yep, I’d much rather trade resistance for acceptance.
Admittedly, acceptance is a tough superpower to learn but practice makes perfect. And don’t we have loads of opportunities to practice accepting rather than resisting?!
One of my favourite acceptance-training activities is commuting by a bicycle. The truth is that every single ride teems with opportunities to either get annoyed or have chilled and kind attitude. And let’s be clear here, I’m not an innocent cyclist, quietly following rules and being harassed by ill-mannered drivers. My cycling has an anarchic twist to it. All the better, because that makes it twice as challenging. Not only can I practice acceptance in the face of someone who misbehave towards me, but even more so, towards myself, when I mess-up.
Now, if I was to describe the context to my 10 years of daily biking in Brussels, here’s how it would sound: cyclists were seen by drivers as lesser evil, and pedaling was giving us shitty moral superiority over drivers. Also, at times it was not exactly safe to be around cars.
Things are different here in Lisbon (suburbs) where cyclists are rare and I’m looked upon as a curiosity. This is actually great, because it makes drivers behave safer around me. But I also can’t help to notice something else: it’s quite important for Portuguese to adhere to rules. After all, Portugal is among countries with the highest rates of vaccinated people in the world. About 98 percent of all of those eligible for vaccines — meaning anyone over 12 — have been fully vaccinated! Wow.
On a simplistic level, one of the reasons is exactly this - people tend to follow the (external) rules here. And if you don’t follow the book, they will often express some form of admonition about it. Or just give you this look… (which is only fair, it’s just much more frequent than in other places I know). I stay in line, so you better do too. Pandemics really amplified it – try not wearing a mask somewhere you should.
And again, on my bike I’m definitely on the perpetrator’s side of those conversations. While I follow the road conduct and use close to zero creativity when driving a car, biking is different. I explore a grey zone between being a pedestrian and a driver. And as much as I’m trying hard to play safe and be respectful to others, damn it, there will always be something that I will end up being reproached for.
Various emotions do arise at those times. In summary: first I’m annoyed or pissed, and then I’m upset with myself for getting annoyed or pissed. This is then followed by imaginary rebuffs that I simulate in my head for the rest of the bike trip. Sometimes though I also celebrate victories, when, whatever happens, I keep my cool and remain kind and light.
But overall, I’m appreciating moments of being reprimanded (whether I earned it or not). It is a welcome opportunity to practice emotional shake-ups and discomfort. Also, it’s an indispensable extension to my stillness practice (aka mediation) when everything is smooth, pleasant, and easy. And it’s a practice of taking 100% responsibility for my actions and reactions, rather than feeling victimized and blaming others.
A few perspectives that help me with this are:
- Your best response to an insult is “You’re probably right.” Often they are. (Kevin Kelly)
- When someone is plain unkind: Oh, this could be me on a different day. (George Saunders).
- Resistance if useless (an enlightened Vogon guard).
This post flows with Parallel - Interstellar
