you will never be alone again

The pandemic is affecting us very unevenly. But one thing stands out for us all - while we are in this together, often we have been experiencing this togetherness “locked down” and alone. 

Being deeply social creatures, we need physical contact with other humans. No wonder we crave to get out to the world already.  But before your social agenda fills up again, lend me your "ear"! There are still yummy opportunities to explore in the midsts of Covid. 

Unwanted aloneness

Let’s face it - we are not very good at hanging out with ourselves. Especially when a feeling of loneliness starts creeping in, we instinctively try to cover it by holding on to something. A phone, a book, going out. The last bastion of just-me-with-myself has fallen too, since toilet time and smartphones became an inseparable combo.   

The world sure helps us to be busy and distracted. It turns us away from ourselves and pulls us to the external. By design. One way this happens is with omnipresent digital distractions. It is a topic on its own (see my earlier post here) and even the global pandemic will not be enough to catalyse change here. Oops. 

But there are also more traditional ways to distract us from being alone. These are delicious things like seeing friends, concerts, travels. In other words, the very things that the virus deprived us of. On their own, all these are fantastic and valuable activities. They fulfil our fundamental needs as humans. But there is one caveat. If they are not in balance with hanging out with ourselves in a still and mindful way, they can easily become a distraction and escape. 

Aloneness? Yes, please!

There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You can spend loads of time alone without ever feeling the loneliness. Deep down, it is the isolation that is destructive to our spirit. And it will not go away if we cover it with things and activities. Ironically, it can be healed exactly by being alone. By entering into a relationship with reality. This is why instead of avoiding solitude, we should plan for it, schedule it like we schedule meetings with others. And then we will slowly start discovering that we can never be alone. Not with the reality that is teeming with abundance.  

Love affair with existence

I’m on my own. Now what? 

Here is something that can kick-start us:

Slow down

Smell the air

Listen intently to the surrounding sounds, whatever they are

Forgo any names and concepts. The fact that we can give something a name (like a tree) doesn’t mean we understand what it is.

Observe with curiosity a cloud, an insect or anything that you see 

Sense the wisdom of plants

Feel their presence 

Let your senses come alive again

Come in intimate contact with reality

Take a deep dive into the present moment, always fresh and wide open.

Feel your body - its aliveness and all kinds of nuanced sensations. Like goosebumps and blissful feeling that we experience right after yawning. Bring subtlety back to life. It is not only animal species that die out, but also delicate and subtle sensations, because we have been too busy or too consumed by our mind to notice and enjoy them. 

This is a real remedy to feeling alone – entering into a curious, mindful, and playful relationship with reality. Falling in love with existence once more, just like children do.