We all agree that the world would do with more love. But, to quote an accomplished musician and lyrics author Haddaway, “What is love”?

Obviously, we cannot command someone to love, this is not how it works. “Love your enemies” sounds like a great message on the surface, but can I really just decide that? And are “love” and “enemy” even compatible?

Imagine you want to learn how to roller-skate. Would it be helpful if your trainer told you: “Find your balance, do not fall, turn right and then stop”? Things like good balance are not something you can teach directly. Rather, they are natural outcomes or even by-products of more nuanced clues like “bend your legs slightly and look forward”. And of course, they don’t come on the first try. They are a result of extensive and intentional practice.

In much the same way, I see love as an outcome, a spinoff from other things, almost a side effect, and as a skill that needs to be trained daily.